Lovely poem! Sounds something like my poem "Masquerade" Check them out and critique it!

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Confucius say - 'He who stands on toilet is high on pot'

They call it P.M.S. because "mad cow disease" was already taken.

i know it says advanced critique encouraged, but it rocks the way it is. sometimes the best stuff we write is straight from our hearts to the paper.

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". . . And now for something completely different." [link]

I really like the genuine way it's written, but there's a couple cliqued lines in there.

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Ya know what gets under my skin? Thank-yous for s.I mean, what's the point? If Iyour stuff,it's enough showing me what I liked.You don't clutter my page&I won't yours;deal?
~ProtectshippingYGO Baku+Tris

thank you. I will try to check those out.

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"Siempre estoy soñando en ti
Besando mis labios, acariciando mi piel
Abrazandome, con ansias locas
Imaginando que me amas
Como yo podría amar a ti"
I could fall in love -Selena

yeah, I left that in case someone had something to help out with -so they wouldnt be afraid to put it-but ultimately I love this the way it is.

thank you

--
"Siempre estoy soñando en ti
Besando mis labios, acariciando mi piel
Abrazandome, con ansias locas
Imaginando que me amas
Como yo podría amar a ti"
I could fall in love -Selena

Thanks! ^.^

--
Confucius say - 'He who stands on toilet is high on pot'

They call it P.M.S. because "mad cow disease" was already taken.

hey man, that's like, bad ass. i have a suggestion, but i don't know which direction you are going with it. is this, i'm pissed because you never taught me the things i needed to know? or is it, i'm glad because i learned these things on my own without you? because, depending on which direction this is going will depend on, i guess, what i have to say to critique it. if it's, i'm pissed bc you never taught me, then i'd go with, the "worst part is..." but if you're like, i'm glad i learned these things on my own, then i'd go with "the best part is it wasn't from you." just something to think about, i suppose. just a spelling error and a gramatical error as well. u spells their's wrong. u used "there's" instead of "theirs." maybe instead of commas in some places, you shoulda left them out. and then where you wrote, "everyone is loveable;deserves to be loved" you could have used "and" but u know, a ; works too other than that, i think it's pretty awesome.

--
I am Alexdria
See me for who I am
Or don't see me at all

thanks! I'm not really sure which way I was goin with it. I just wrote it as it came to me, but thanks for the critique. I appreciate it. Take care -Jay

--
"Siempre estoy soñando en ti
Besando mis labios, acariciando mi piel
Abrazandome, con ansias locas
Imaginando que me amas
Como yo podría amar a ti"
I could fall in love -Selena

np. just throwin out a few ideas....

--
I am Alexdria
See me for who I am
Or don't see me at all